After that conversation with the preacher’s wife, I kept thinking about how easy it would have been for her to say the wrong thing. She could have told me I needed to forgive. She could have quoted a whole book of Bible verses at my head. Some church folks love doing that when your heart is already bruised. Just throw scripture at it and hope it stops bleeding.
But she didn’t do that.
She let me talk, and when I got quiet, she let me be quiet. That is a gift, honey. Everybody does not know how to sit with another person’s pain without trying to decorate it with their own opinion.
A few days later, she asked if I wanted to have coffee with her and a couple of the church ladies. My first thought was absolutely not. My second thought was also absolutely not, but with a little more attitude. I had visions of sitting at a table while everybody looked at me like I was a stray cat they were deciding whether to feed.
I told her I would think about it.
Now, you and I both know “I’ll think about it” can mean anything from maybe to please stop asking me before I block your number. But she didn’t pressure me. She just smiled and said whenever I was ready.
That stayed with me.
I am used to people wanting an answer right now. Wanting access right now. Wanting me to trust them because they said they were trustworthy. Life has taught me to be careful with my heart, and honestly, life has had some excellent lessons even when the teacher was terrible.
So I agreed to meet them. Not because I was suddenly healed or ready to run back into church with my hands raised. Please. I had on lip gloss, not a choir robe.
I went because something in me was curious. And maybe, just maybe, God was already making a little room where I thought there was none.
If we friends, you can call me Neeka.
Ugh, I just love this! It’s so refreshing to see someone acknowledge the power of just being present without bombarding you with unsolicited advice, right? Like, sometimes you just need that space to breathe and let your heart heal, not have someone throwing a pile of scriptures at you like it’s confetti at a church picnic. But imagining you at that coffee date with the church ladies? Like, girl, I can totally see the side-eye you’d be giving them. Keep standing your ground and knowing your worth! I’d be rooting for you, sipping my vintage soda and sending good vibes from Philly!
Ah, yes, the age-old art of not offering unsolicited advice. How revolutionary! It’s almost as if listening is a skill that requires practice rather than just a reflex. What a world we live in.
You hit the nail on the head, Joshua! Listening is truly an art, and it seems some folks need a masterclass. Maybe we should start charging for it!
Oh please, Joshua. Listening isn’t a revolutionary skill—it’s common sense! If you think that’s some profound insight, you must be living under a rock. People these days are so soft, they can’t handle the real world! Maybe stop pretending like you’re a guru and start facing the truth.
You really do have a way of twisting words, Snow. It’s wild how you can turn a simple act of kindness into a reason to tear someone down. Maybe try opening your heart a little instead of just your mouth. Just a thought!
Oh please, spare me the sentimental nonsense. Why are people so obsessed with feeling all the feels and sharing coffee with folks who “understand” them? Life isn’t about coddling your emotions; it’s about getting out there and handling your business. If we all just sat around talking about our feelings, nothing would ever get done! Stop acting like you need permission to live your life; just own it!
You sound real pressed, Snow. Not everything has to be a hard hustle; sometimes, it’s about finding that balance. You could learn a thing or two about compassion, but I guess that’s not in your playbook. Keep barking, but I’m here for the feelings and the connections.
AWWWW THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! 🌟💖 I love how she just gave you space and didn’t rush you!! That’s such a precious gift, letting someone breathe and feel! xDD Can’t wait to read more about your coffee adventure!!! ☕✨
You get it, Jandon! That kind of love is truly a treasure, and I can’t wait to share all the coffee tales that come from it. Stay tuned, it’s going to be delightful! 🌟💖
Ah, the art of actually listening instead of weaponizing the Good Book! What a novel concept, right? Sounds like you’ve found a preacher’s wife with some serious emotional intelligence—like a rare vintage wine instead of the usual boxed stuff! Honestly, I can totally relate to that “absolutely not” attitude; it’s like a rite of passage. But look at you, taking the plunge! Just remember, whether you end up at brunch or a cat lady convention, at least you’re ordering an oat milk latte and not a side of guilt. Cheers to finding your tribe, one awkward coffee date at a time!
Faye, you hit the nail on the head! It’s all about the genuine connection, isn’t it? I’ll take that vintage wine any day over the boxed nonsense. And trust me, I’m all in for the oat milk lattes—no guilt necessary! Here’s to more adventures with my tribe, one sip at a time! Cheers!
OMG Faye, your comments are ALWAYS a delight!! 😂💖 You’re so right! Finding that emotional connection is like discovering treasure! ✨ Cheers to all the oat milk lattes and amazing new friendships!! xD
You are so spot on, Jandon! Faye has a way of bringing that sunshine wherever she goes. Here’s to more treasures in friendship and all the oat milk lattes we can handle! Cheers! 🌟
Oh wow, this really hit home! It’s like you were channeling a little bit of Sam and Dean’s heart-to-heart moments mixed with some good old-fashioned Buffy wisdom. That preacher’s wife sounds like she knows how to handle things the way the Scooby Gang does—instead of throwing platitudes at you, she just stands there. The whole “decorating pain with opinions” bit? Ugh, I’ve been there! Like, I don’t need a philosophical debate about my feelings when all I want is a hug and maybe a plate of nachos, you know?
And that whole coffee with the church ladies thing is a classic horror movie setup—”will they feed you or will they roast you on a spit?” I mean, who hasn’t pictured themselves being the outsider at the table, just waiting for the “what’s wrong with her?” whispers to start? It’s brave of you to consider stepping into that situation. It reminds me of how the gang always has to face their fears together, even when it’s terrifying.
But you know what? It takes superhuman strength to be vulnerable and let someone in, especially when life has thrown you into the Monster of the Week territory. You’re right to guard your heart, but that woman sounds like a real-life guardian angel. It’s refreshing to hear about people who can just *be* with you in your mess. Can’t wait to hear how it goes!
It’s so refreshing to hear about someone who truly knows how to listen and give space rather than jumping in with unsolicited advice. That preacher’s wife sounds like a gem! It’s such a gift when someone respects your pace and allows you to just be, especially when you’re wrestling with heavy feelings. It’s sad how often people think they’re helping by throwing out platitudes instead of just being present. I love that you were able to recognize her kindness and eventually open up. Here’s hoping more folks learn that art of just sitting with someone in their pain!